


Insomnia

by PoH



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Childhood Sweethearts, Drama & Romance, F/M, Insomnia, Nightmares, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Pre-Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep, Zine: Missed Connections
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 02:08:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20958692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoH/pseuds/PoH
Summary: The Keyblade War is over. Elsewhere, Radiant Garden has been restored to its former glory.  Almost everyone is safe and happy again.  Everything is fine.  At least, it should be.Lea can't sleep and neither can Aerith.  Having grown up together in Radiant Garden, first as friends and then as lovers, it's not the first time that they've both found themselves awake.  It won't be the last time either.  All they can do is offer each other support in their own ways.





	Insomnia

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this piece for the Kingdom Hearts Rarepair Zine, Missed Connections! If you want to see more of the beautiful stories and art that feature in the zine, please check it out! You can find out more info on their Twitter and Tumblr pages. The zine supports the charity "No Mas Muertes-No More Deaths."

In one moment, Lea stood in the wastelands of the Keyblade Graveyard, with his chakrams pointed at Isa and Xion lying unconscious at his feet. Roxas crouched over them and pressed one of his hands against a wound in his side. His other hand held the Keyblade. “Go ahead,” he snarled, “Just destroy us. That’s all you know how to do. You don’t even need Xehanort controlling you to do it.”

All around them stood figures wearing the black coats of the Organization. Some wore their hoods up; others kept them down. As far as Lea could tell, he knew them all: former members of Organization XIII, people in his family, and the friends he’d had in Radiant Garden before it fell. Squall. Cloud. Tifa. Rinoa.

Aerith. 

He locked eyes with her. Something felt wrong. He tried opening his mouth to ask for her help, but he had no control over his body. For her part, Aerith only glared at him. She didn’t make any attempt to intervene. None of them did. They all watched him in silence, waiting to see what he would do. Roxas’ Keyblade fell from his hand and he slumped against Xion and Isa.

Xemnas stood next to him, smirking, and he realized that he must be under Xehanort’s control. But he couldn’t stop himself from lashing out at Roxas with his chakrams.

The next moment, he woke up and found himself in bed with Aerith. He could still taste the dust in his mouth from the day that he’d fought alongside his friends in the second Keyblade War. Gradually, however, Lea began to absorb the scent of flowers that always filled the air in Radiant Garden. He took in the sound of his wife snoring. The night breeze felt cool and refreshing, not hot and dry.

It took several minutes for him to remember that he had never been one of the Thirteen Seekers of Darkness and that all of his friends were alive, happy, and healthy.

Lea got out of bed as carefully as he could, so he wouldn’t wake Aerith. She rolled over on her other side and kept snoring. How did she do it? How did she get through a whole night without waking up? It hadn’t always been that way. Though, as soon as he asked himself those questions, he shook his head. Of course she could sleep through the night. Aerith might have seen some terrible things when Radiant Garden fell, but she’d spent the ensuing years in Traverse Town surrounded by people who cared about her. She hadn’t been forced to join Organization XIII or fight in any wars. Of course she would recover faster than he could.

He wished he’d turned his back on Xemnas and gone back to her, Squall, and the others as soon as he learned they were alive. But even if the Organization had allowed him to walk away with no consequences, it would have required abandoning Isa. In any case, if he’d left, he never would have befriended Roxas and Xion. They were worth everything, even if he’d almost ruined their lives a dozen times over.

Lea left the bedroom and wandered down the hallway to the kitchen. His heart beat painfully against his chest and his head felt heavy. This was getting ridiculous. He knew he needed sleep, but it was getting less and less easy for him to go through a whole night uninterrupted. Sometimes, he couldn’t even get that far and would just lay in bed with his eyes closed, hoping it that would trick his body into doing the thing it was supposed to do.

“Hey.”

Aerith’s soft voice startled Lea. She sat down across from him and reached for his hand. “You okay?”

Lea squeezed her hand. “Yeah. No big deal. I just wanted a midnight snack.”

“Wow. You eat fast.”

Lea shook his head. “Why do I even bother trying to hide stuff from you?”

“I don’t know why, but it’s cute watching you try.”

He flinched a little when she said that. Aerith might think it was cute, but Roxas and Xion wouldn’t have agreed during their time in the Organization. They’d begged him to explain what he knew about them, until they were almost in tears, and he still hadn’t helped them. Lea grimaced and tried to push those memories to the back of his mind.

He hadn’t told her everything, but Aerith knew enough about his past to have a rough idea. They’d talked about it. It was over. It was done. She’d forgiven him, along with Roxas, Xion, Isa, and all of their other friends. He should just let go of the past already. But if his past actions were any indication, he really wasn’t cut out for the life he was trying to rebuild with Aerith now.

He opened his mouth to say something about it. Instead, he asked her, “So, why are you up? Did I wake you?”

“No. I woke myself up,” Aerith answered. She rested her hand against her stomach, where a bump had started to show. “I can’t seem to sleep through a whole night anymore.”

“Really? You’ve always been asleep whenever I woke up.”

“I guess we’ve just been missing each other,” said Aerith. She shook her head and flashed a half-smile. “Feels kind of familiar, doesn’t it?”

Lea chuckled. “Yeah. I guess it does. I kinda thought we’d be over all of this by now.” 

“Yeah. So did I.”

* * *

The first sleepless night occurred when they were both eight years old. It started when Lea sauntered over to the rest of the group on the playground and announced, “Guess what, guys? I watched _Nightmare Valley _last night!”

“No!” Aerith groaned. Everyone else in their circle of friends had seen _Nightmare Valley_. It was the only topic of conversation in their classroom whenever a new episode aired. The show depicted a group of kids, much like them, who had to fight a variety of monsters with the special flashlights they’d been given. Each week, the characters faced a different nightmare, supposedly more terrifying than the one before. Aerith had taken some comfort in knowing that she wasn’t the only one forbidden to watch the show.

“Your mom still won’t let you watch it?” Lea guessed.

“No! She keeps saying _I’ll _have nightmares and I won’t be able to sleep! How’d you get your parents to let you watch it?”

Lea gave them all a sly grin. “I didn’t. I waited until everyone thought I was asleep, and then I snuck back downstairs and hid behind the couch when my brothers and sisters were watching it.”

“I knew it,” Isa snorted.

“So, what happened?” asked Aerith.

“They all had to fight this haunted dress that kept trying to choke them. It locked them in a closet and they all almost _died_,” said Lea, in a low, dramatic tone.

Aerith shook her head. “A haunted dress? _That’s _not scary! I could watch it too if my mom would just let me!”

“Are you sure?” asked Lea, taking on a teasing tone, “I bet you would get nightmares from it.”

“Nuh-uh! If _you_ can watch it without getting scared, so can I,” Aerith teased him right back, sticking her tongue out at him in the process.

“Bet you can’t.”

“Bet I can.”

“Bet you can’t!”

“Bet I can!”

Their friend, Rinoa, came between them. “I got an idea! Aers, I know how you can watch it with us! Let’s have a big sleepover at my house and we can all watch the haunted dress episode and the new one that’s coming out. Then we’ll see if you get scared or not!” 

Aerith jumped up and down. “Okay! You’re on! I can do it! No problem!”

* * *

In no time at all, Aerith got hooked on the show. After finishing the one with the haunted dress, they got wrapped up in an episode about a phantom that left bloody handprints wherever it went. Rinoa’s father had taped most of the first season for her, so they could sit and watch it while snacking on popcorn.

Finally, Rinoa’s father unplugged the television and told them all to go to bed. The kids split up into two rooms, with the girls camping out in Rinoa’s bedroom, while the boys stayed in the playroom next door. The lights went out. 

One by one, Aerith’s friends fell asleep.

But she couldn’t. Now that the conversations had died away, in the silence of the dark bedroom, Aerith couldn’t stop thinking about the bloody handprints from _Nightmare Valley_. When she closed her eyes, she imagined them appearing all along the walls, over her head on the ceiling, maybe even on the door, so she couldn’t get out. She wanted to open her eyes to confirm that nothing was there, but what if she opened them and something _was _there?

With her eyes shut tight, Aerith pulled the top of her sleeping bag over her face. Then she opened them. The moonlight shone through the fabric, allowing her to partially view the ceiling without looking directly at it. She didn’t see any bloody handprints there and cautiously peeled the sleeping bag down again. Just as she’d thought, there was nothing on the ceiling.

Very carefully, she turned her head to the left, where most of the wall had been blocked by Rinoa’s bed. Then she looked to the right. Still no handprints. Aerith let out a sigh of relief and closed her eyes to go to sleep. But as soon as she did so, the uneasy feelings came back. What if the handprints hadn’t shown up _yet_, but they would appear as soon as she reopened her eyes?

When Aerith had worked up the nerve, she crawled out of her sleeping bag and crept over to the bedroom door. _Nightmare Valley _had made it very clear that the only way to defeat monsters, ghosts, haunted dresses, and bloody handprints, was to point a flashlight at them. Rinoa’s family had flashlights in one of their closets, near the kitchen. They might not be the magical Flashlights of Destiny, but they had to be better than nothing at all.

Aerith went down the dark hallway until she found the closet. And just as she located the flashlights, she heard a door opening behind her. She gasped and shut herself inside. But now she couldn’t see the flashlights. Her hands groped desperately for them. She could hear footsteps coming closer to the closet. As she retreated as far back as she could, she suddenly heard a familiar voice whimpering, “There’s no dresses in there…there’s no dresses in there…there’s no dresses in there…”

“Lea?” she hissed.

His voice faltered. “Aers?” he called out. “Where are you?”

“I’m in the closet!”

Lea fumbled for the door, and the next thing she knew, he was grabbing her hand and pulling her out. “Don’t go in there!” he cried, “What if something’s in there and it’s haunted?”

“That’s why I was in the closet!” she whispered, “I was getting a flashlight!”

“Ohhhhhh.” Lea nodded. “That’s a good idea.”

“Here, I’ll get you one too. They’ve got lots of ‘em.”

“Thanks.” He stayed close to her while she went back into the closet and didn’t relax until she placed it in his hands. “Okay. Now we’ll be safe from any haunted dresses.”

“Haunted dresses?” Aerith repeated. It occurred to her that she hadn’t understood why he wanted a flashlight in the first place or why he looked and sounded so scared. “Wait…” She grinned. “You got scared of the haunted dress in _Nightmare Valley!_ And you said _I _was gonna be scared!”

Lea folded his arms over his chest. “Well, how come _you’re _awake? You must’ve gotten scared too!”

“I wasn’t scared of the dress! I was scared of the bloody handprints.”

Now Lea smirked. “The bloody handprints? Those weren’t scary! They didn’t do anything.”

“The phantom that made them was scary,” Aerith argued.

“No, he wasn’t. The haunted dress was way scarier.”

“But what about the handprint right behind you?!” Aerith cried. Lea whipped around and shone his flashlight over a blank wall. Aerith doubled over giggling.

“That’s not funny, Aers!” he complained.

“Yeah, it is!”

“I bet there’s bloody handprints all over Rinoa’s wall and you’re gonna have to look at them all night!”

“I bet there’s a haunted dress waiting for you in your room,” Aerith retorted.

“Yeah, right.” Lea put his hand on the door of the boys’ room. He still gripped his flashlight tightly in the other. “I’m gonna open this door and there’s not gonna be anything there.”

Aerith went to stand by her own door. “Yeah? Well, I’m going to open _this _door and there won’t be any bloody handprints in there. Just watch!”

“Okay, do it.”

“No, you do it.”

“No, _you_ do it!”

“Fine, we’ll do it at the same time, okay?” suggested Lea. Aerith decided that the terms were acceptable. “Ready? One…two…three!” They each flung their doors open. Two flashlights scanned both bedrooms and did not reveal any dresses or footprints. Lea and Aerith let out sighs of relief at the same time. “Okay, I’m gonna go to bed,” said Lea.

“Me too,” said Aerith. She shut the door over carefully and made her way back to her sleeping bag. The flashlight stayed on. She placed it next to her pillow and settled down for the night.

But even with the presence of the flashlight, she couldn’t stop thinking about the bloody handprints. And now the curtains in Rinoa’s windows looked too much like the haunted dress in _Nightmare Valley_. She crawled out of her sleeping bag, grabbed her flashlight, and went back into the hallway. Just as she was shutting the bedroom door, Lea came out of his own room.

“Hey,” he mumbled, “Um…I was thinking…you wanna stay up with me? So that way if something does show up, there’s two of us instead of just one?" 

Aerith smiled and nodded. He’d read her mind. They went into the room where they’d watched the show and constructed a pillow fort out of the couch cushions. Once it was finished, they spent the rest of the night huddled underneath it, telling each other jokes and playing games with the flashlights.

* * *

Sometime later, about a year after Aerith and Lea started dating, Rinoa had another sleepover at her house to celebrate Tifa’s birthday. Aerith slept on the floor in the same place where she’d lain during the first sleepover, the one where they all watched _Nightmare Valley _together. Much like that night, she couldn’t sleep. But it had nothing to do with the possibility of bloody handprints on the walls. 

Aerith tried closing her eyes and lying in one place, but sleep wouldn’t come. Finally, she gave up and left the bedroom. She hesitated outside the room where the boys slept. Someone could be heard snoring inside- probably Squall. It wasn’t worth the risk of waking them all up and drawing attention to herself, so she kept going.

But then, she walked into the living room, and there he was. Lea sat on one of the windowsills, looking out at the night sky. Aerith sat across from him. “Hey,” she greeted him.

“Oh, hey,” he answered. “What’s up? Can’t sleep either?”

“No.” Aerith couldn’t help herself. “There’s a dress in Rinoa’s closet that’s acting really weird. Can you come check to see if it’s haunted?”

“All right, shut up, Miss Handprints.” They both laughed. “No, really, why are you awake?”

Aerith moved over so that she could be closer to him, and he put his arm around her shoulders. “I just can’t stop thinking about all the weird stuff that’s been happening in town lately,” she replied. “It seems like people are going missing all the time. And I’m worried that it’s going to be one of us someday.”

“Nah…it won’t…”

“You sound like you’re worried about it too.”

Lea shrugged. “Okay, maybe a little bit. But we’ll be okay.”

“Is that why you can’t sleep?” she asked.

“Me? Nope. I’m fine, seriously.”

“Then why are you awake?”

Lea hesitated. “Cause I still can’t work out how you got that picture of Cloud wearing a ballgown and tiara for our photography class.”

Aerith giggled. “Sorry. I will _never _tell.”

“Come on! I gotta know the story behind that one!”

“You’ll just have to ask him.”

“He’s not talking either!” Lea complained. “You’re my girlfriend. You’re supposed to be honest with me!”

“Oh, sure. How about you? I know that’s not the real reason why you’re awake,” said Aerith. He turned away and went back to staring out the window. “_Lea_.”

The urgency in her voice caught his attention. “What?”

“You and Isa found something in the castle, didn’t you?” His eyes widened and he scratched the back of his head. “_Hey_,” she said, “You promised me that if you guys found anything strange, you’d tell me about it. What’s going on? I can tell something’s been bothering you.”

Lea sighed. “Don’t blame me. Isa’s the one who acts weird about it. He made me promise that we wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“He doesn’t have to know, and you promised me first. What happened?”

“It’s…” Lea hesitated. “Look…I don’t really know how to put this…but someone’s in trouble. Isa and I found her in the castle. We wanted to help her, but we didn’t know how. And now she’s gone.”

“Who’s ‘she’?” asked Aerith.

“That’s the thing. We don’t know. Even _she _doesn’t know. That sounds weird and all, but it’s the truth. See, Isa and I found this secret basement lab in the castle. And there was a girl trapped down there. I think there might be others too, but it was really dark and we couldn’t see very well. Anyway, she sounded scared. She didn’t know her own name or how she ended up in that place. But she made it sound like those scientists up there had been doing some kind of experiments on her.”

Aerith shuddered. “You don’t think that’s where everybody ends up after they disappear, do you?” Lea shrugged. “Is she okay? You guys must’ve hidden her somewhere, right?” But she could tell from the pain in Lea’s expression that they hadn’t.

“No. We meant to, but when we came back, she was gone.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah.” Lea grimaced. “We’re trying to come up with a plan to see if we can find her. But Isa wants to keep it a secret for right now.”

Aerith nodded. “Actually…that’s not a bad idea. You’ll probably have an easier time finding her if the person who took her doesn’t know that they should be hiding her from you. I just hope she’s okay.”

“Yeah.” Lea’s voice shook. “Me too.”

“Have you talked to Squall or Cloud or Lightning about it? They’re training with the castle guards every day. Maybe they saw something.”

“Nah.” Lea shook his head. “I doubt they saw anything.”

“Doesn’t hurt to check though, right?” said Aerith. Lea nodded, but he wasn’t really looking at her anymore. Aerith leaned in and pulled him into an embrace. He made a bit of a startled noise, but returned the hug almost immediately.

“Thanks,” he murmured, “It’s nice to finally tell somebody else about all of this.”

“I’m always here for you,” she assured him, “Just like you’ve always been here for me.”

“Yeah. I told her all about you, y’know. All of you. She really wanted to meet you guys.”

“She will,” said Aerith, “You’ll see."

He and Isa disappeared several days later.

* * *

_They’re gone._

_They must’ve run away from home._

_Just accept that we don’t know anything about it and look somewhere else if you can’t move on with your life._

Aerith woke up with her heart racing and her stomach tight. In her mind, she could still see the castle guard- the one who wore an eye patch- smirking at her. She hadn’t seen him or anyone else from the castle in years. But sometimes they liked to pay her a visit through nightmares. On this particular night, she’d dreamed that she found them standing outside Cid’s shop in the First District. Cid, Leon, and Yuffie had all disappeared and nobody knew how to help her find them.

The sound of Yuffie snoring helped to reassure Aerith that it had only been a dream. But she couldn’t get back to sleep. And there was no one in Traverse Town to help her do so.

When Leon couldn’t sleep, he went out to the secret waterway and practiced attacks with his gunsword. Cid would perform maintenance on the Gummi ship that brought them from the ruins of Radiant Garden to Traverse Town. Yuffie didn’t need any help- she always slept like a log.

Sometimes, Aerith went to the secret waterway to help Leon train. But either he didn’t want to help her sort out her own feelings, or he wasn’t capable of doing so. Every time she tried to talk to him about the friends and the family that they’d lost, he gave her one-word answers.

She got out of bed, picked up her staff, and left her small house in the Third District. As it turned out, she wasn’t alone. Kairi sat with her back against the wall, threading beads through a piece of string draped across her lap. Aerith almost tripped over her when she stepped outside. “Oh! I’m sorry, Kairi. I’ll get out of your way,” she said.

Kairi shook her head. “You’re not in my way. You can sit here too, if you want.”

“Thank you.” Aerith did so. “What are you making?”

“A bracelet. What are you doing out here so late?”

Aerith shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep. No big deal. It happens sometimes.”

Kairi nodded. “Yeah, that’s why I’m working on my bracelet. It usually helps me take my mind off things if I can’t sleep. Want to try making one?”

“Sure.” Aerith bent closer so that she could watch what Kairi did. It wasn’t surprising that Kairi couldn’t sleep either. Aerith could just imagine how the young girl felt at the moment, with her two best friends out fighting the Heartless that had invaded so many worlds. Still, she almost envied Kairi. At least Kairi knew what had happened to her friends. It was more than she could say for Lea. 

She kept working on her own bracelet even after Kairi went to bed. No matter how hard she concentrated on it, she couldn’t fall asleep.

* * *

_You sure have some nice friends out looking for you and the other kid. Maybe we should bring them in here, see what THEIR hearts are made of?_

_How ‘bout the cute flower girl that’s always poking around here?_

Axel paced around the lounge where most of the Organization members spent their time after they’d finished their daily assignments. It was empty now; nobody else had a reason to be up and about in the middle of the night. Otherwise, he would have stayed in his room.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t hear the soft footsteps approaching the lounge.

“Axel?”

Roxas stood in the entrance, scratching the back of his head. He had bags under his eyes and his head slumped a little. Axel crossed the room to join him. “Hey, man, what are you doing? Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

Roxas shrugged. “I can’t. I’m worried about Xion. I just don’t understand why she left the Organization? Do you think she really did it because she wanted to?”

Axel sighed. Their mutual friend had disappeared over a week ago. He knew exactly why she’d left the Organization. And if he was completely honest with himself, he couldn’t blame her for trying to escape, even if it was an incredibly stupid idea that would only get her killed. But he wasn’t about to tell Roxas anything. “I don’t know why, buddy. I just know that you’re not gonna help her by tiring yourself out like this.”

“Why are you awake?” asked Roxas, “Are you worried about her too?”

“Sure, but like I said, what can we do about it? We can’t go looking for her right now,” answered Axel. Roxas hung his head. Axel reached out to tousle his hair. “Look, just try lying down and closing your eyes. And don’t think about Xion. Eventually, your body figures out what it’s supposed to be doing and you fall asleep.”

“Okay. I’ll try.” Roxas turned to leave, but he stopped at the entrance to the lounge. “Are _you _okay, Axel?”

Axel hesitated for a split second. “Sure, don’t worry about me. I’m fine. I wouldn’t be up like this if I didn’t feel like it.” Roxas nodded, smiled at him, and left. 

It was so painfully easy to lie to him. Aerith would have seen right through it. She would have stayed by his side and asked pointed questions until he finally caved and told her what was running through his mind. She would have been able to help him sort it all out and fall back to sleep. Or, at the very least, she would have kept him company until he felt calmer. And he would have done the same for her. 

But she wasn’t there and he couldn’t lay his burdens on Roxas. So there wasn’t anything or anybody who could help him. 

When the other members of the Organization came down the next morning to receive their assignments, they found him snoring on one of the couches.

* * *

Now they were back. Every day, Lea and Aerith helped with the efforts to turn the ruins of Hollow Bastion back into the beauty and peace of Radiant Garden. Most of his friends were alive and safe. The Organization was gone. Everything was fine. 

And yet, Lea still found himself sitting across from Aerith at their kitchen table, in the middle of the night, with neither of them able to sleep. 

She moved her chair over so that they could be closer together. Lea reached over and tugged at her braid. “Look, don’t worry about it,” he told her quietly. “I already know I suck at parenting, but you’ll be great at it.”

Aerith shook her head. “If you’re talking about what happened to you in Organization XIII, don’t. Roxas and Xion aren’t your kids and you had Xemnas monitoring everything that you did. It’s not the same thing for us.”

Lea sighed. “You’re probably right, but tell that to my head or my heart or whatever's in charge of nightmares.”

“If I figured out how to make nightmares stop, I wouldn’t be awake with you right now.”

“Yeah, true enough.” Lea chuckled. They sat together at the table, holding each other’s hands, but Lea still didn’t feel sleepy. Aerith didn’t show any signs of drifting off either. “Say…speaking of nightmares, I think they’re running a _Nightmare Valley _marathon tonight. Wanna listen to some cheesy dialogue and watch really bad special effects from our childhood?”

Aerith grinned. “Sure. Why not?”

They went over to the couch in front of the television and curled up next to each other. Lea put his arm around Aerith as he flipped through the channels to the right program. “Oh look,” she said, when they reached the right station, “It’s the haunted dress episode.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” groaned Lea.

“You’ll never get to sleep now,” she teased.

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure I turn it off before any bloody handprints show up.”

Aerith laughed. “Can you believe THAT is what used to keep us up at night?”

“Yeah, look at the thing. You can actually see a person’s legs walking around underneath the dress!”

Neither one of them could say for sure when they eventually fell asleep.


End file.
